Learning to Play With a Lion’s Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa

By Melissa Haynes

The cheeky name of Melissa Haynes's tale of experience in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the ebook a few gigantic exposure on NBC-TV/Late evening with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 the place it crowned the show's checklist of "Titles to not learn" for September 2013. Melissa's e-book was once additionally an enormous damage at the March eleven, 2014 Ellen Show, the place Ellen and visitor Ricky Gervais highlighted the ebook through the complete hour.

Playing with a lion’s testicles: An African asserting that implies to take foolhardy chances.

For the reader who has ever dreamed of going to Africa or is familiar with the discomfort of loss and guilt, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles will fill your soul.

Melissa, an exhausted govt from town seeks that means and objective from her paintings volunteers for an important 5 conservation undertaking in South Africa. Her boss, an over-zealous ranger, nicknamed the Drill Sergeant, has no endurance for urban folks, specifically if they are ladies. He attempts to ship her packing on day one, yet Melissa stands her flooring with grit and resolution, in spite of the fact that shaky it could possibly be.

Conflict quickly units the velocity with a solid jam-packed with predatory cats and violent elephants, an on-going conflict of wits with the Drill Sergeant. Even mom Nature kilos the reserve with the worst typhoon in a century. however the so much enduring and profound clash is the interior conflict occurring inside of Melissa, as she attempts to return to phrases with the guilt surrounding her mother's loss of life. whilst demise grips the sport reserve, it's the very animals Melissa has come to save lots of that prove saving her.

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Melanie screams back. “What is it? ” i will pay attention her worry dripping in each syllable. “A lion! I knew a lion might consume me if I got here to this position. Why did you are making me come the following? ” There’s not anything i will be able to do. we don't have any guns, and the nearest ranger is no less than a number of miles away. there is not any one to come back to our rescue and not anything to do yet arrange to struggle the beast that might momentarily be ripping his means via those canvas partitions. Terrified, I start to pray. If we're to die this night then please make it as quick and painless as attainable, and please, God, forgive me for my sugar dependence. expecting loss of life to overhaul us, I notice how unprepared i'm. within the urban, a lady is ready for almost any emergency if she has an considerable provide of chocolate, caffeine, and an exceptional Merlot. the following in Africa, my survival package coaching isn’t a lot diverse. the most important part is chocolate cakes as the basically foreseen possibility i'll think out the following in the course of nowhere was once a scarcity of excellent nutrients. It used to be past this night, on the welcome BBQ, whilst the lead ranger, a stunning and aloof younger guy named Gerrit, warned us to not retain meals in our tents, announcing it should allure the flora and fauna, or worse — insects. Admittedly, whilst I first observed Gerrit, I had romantic visions of a burly ranger wrestling lions to avoid wasting me, yet these visions fast evaporated whilst his character proved to be non-existent. in truth, his foodstuff within the tent caution used to be the single factor he stated all evening. I had attempted to make small speak, “Can you describe the constellations for me? ” yet his glazed eyes have been fixated at the campfire as he sipped his beer in silence, bored with something round him. The mentality during this farming quarter of South Africa is that girls are extra priceless in the house, now not outdoors attempting to do a man’s activity. i used to be ready for a few resistance to my being the following, yet I hadn’t foreseen such blatant indifference and rudeness at my very own welcome social gathering. My ego suffered while, after many makes an attempt, I couldn’t even get up to a well mannered smile from the good-looking ranger. I’m now not previous via any stretch of the mind's eye, yet my age falls into the latter finish of the volunteer age spectrum, additional including to my emotions of alienation. After numerous glasses of South Africa’s best, Melanie and that i fumbled our approach throughout the darkness to our tent camp. Gerrit’s caution nonetheless ringing in my ears, I accumulated the tarts from my safari survival equipment. My plan was once to cast off them within the universal quarter, however the outdoor blackness rendered me too afraid to make the lengthy stroll on my own. Melanie was once already inside of her tent, and that i didn’t wish her to grasp I’m scared of the darkish. What to do? i may throw the muffins from my tent, yet then I’d need to attempt to locate them within the morning to erase all of the facts. And what if a ranger unearths them first? I did the single factor i'll do, and left the muffins simply outdoors of our tents. And now the value of my mistakes is obvious because the heavy canvas of Melanie’s tent screeches lower than the claws of the beast attempting to burrow in the course of the partitions.

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